Dating apps can be daunting, especially when trying to initiate a conversation with someone you find incredibly attractive. The fear of being rejected or saying something wrong can be paralyzing. Fortunately, you are not alone. To help with this common struggle, we reached out to two expert dating coaches for tips on how to start conversations that will lead to real-life dates.
According to Lily Womble, founder and CEO of Date Brazen, intentional effort leads to intentional results. Instead of sending a generic “hey” or “what’s up,” try asking intentional questions that are more likely to get a response. Womble suggests starting with a “qualifying disqualifying question” like “Hey, what’s bringing you joy this week?” These types of questions weed out people who aren’t interested in getting to know you or having a thoughtful conversation.
Ariella Surur, a queer dating coach, recommends starting with open-ended questions that allow the other person to expand on a topic. For example, you can ask about something specific on their profile, like a vacation photo or an engaging answer to a prompt question.
Remember, the goal of the first message is to make your profile stand out and get the other person excited to talk to you. It doesn’t have to feel like an all-or-nothing situation. With these expert-approved icebreakers, you’ll be on your way to meaningful conversations in no time.
- What are you learning about lately that you could talk about for hours?
- What’s something that made you laugh really hard recently?
- Have you read anything interesting recently?
- Tell me about a book or movie that changed your life.
- What’s been the most exciting moment of your week so far?
- If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do with your life?
- What does your dream life look like?
- If you could pick your dream music festival lineup, who would be a part of it?
- You’re stranded on a deserted island. What are the three essentials you’ve taken with you?
- What would you wear if you were a student at Euphoria High.
- Aw, what a cute [pet/baby]!
- What’s an item you’d love to have a lifetime supply of?
- What’s your favorite cereal?
- Sweet or savory?
- Who would be your dream dinner guest and why?
- What actor would play you in the movie of your life?
- What’s a pop culture era you wish you could travel back in time to?
- What’s your go-to karaoke song?
- Tell me about your most interesting special talent.
- What’s the most random fact you know off the top of your head?
